After abuse, you may feel like your abuser is living their life freely, happy, and without any pain, no accountability for their actions, no guilt, no regret.
You may start to feel resentful.
Resentful towards everything that has happened to you, towards your abuser, and even towards yourself.
Abuse takes a toll on your life, changes you, and hurts you in ways that you can’t truly describe. Therefore, we become angry at the fact that no matter what we do we can’t change the past.
We have this idea in our minds that we have to live with all these hurtful memories, trauma, and pain whilst our abusers live a “care-free” happy life.
There’s good news, they aren’t.
No matter how much they may act like they are living a happy life, they are not.
Any person who has to hurt others is hurting inside.
And although we were a victim of their hurt, we were victims momentarily not permanently.
When you start to see that they are the ones hurting inside you will realize that no matter what, your abuser will always continue their same cycles of abuse, over and over again for a lifetime.
Learning to face our struggles and our feelings will help you to truly heal, face them, deal with them, and move forward.
When it comes to these feelings
- Face them
- Feel them
- Deal with them
- Heal from them
“Fake it till you make it” doesn’t work when it comes to deep-seated feelings we have about certain people or situations.
But accepting them and dealing with them (which is easier said than done) is the only way to truly move forward onto your journey towards healing.
What will releasing resentment be like?
Letting go of resentment is going to be difficult.
There will times where you will see what they are doing and feel they are happy living a care-free lifestyle.
You will want to feel as if they should be hurting, they should be upset, they shouldn’t be happy.
One way to slowly release this resentful feeling is learning to accept what we cannot change of the past.
What has happened has happened.
The feelings you are feeling are valid yet we must learn to deal with those feelings in order to start slowly releasing that resentment we have bottled up.
Remove the focus away from them and look inwards.
We have the right to be happy, to heal, to experience a happy new life after abuse.
We deserve joy, happiness, and to heal.
Once we accept the past, we can start to change our now!
Letting go of resentment is going to take time.
This is not an overnight fix. Moving forward takes time. You may be able to release your feelings of resentment in a week, a month, a year, even ten years. Just like it takes time to heal, it takes time to let go of the feelings of resentment, anger, and regret.
Each day will be a new obstacle that you will face, deal with, and overcome!
Letting go of resentment is a mandatory step in your journey towards healing.
There is no way around it.
Letting go of resentment has to happen in order to truly heal, once you find that you can let go of these feelings, see that you can overcome this and be happier you will be one step closer towards your journey to healing.
Want to also learn how to forgive? Check out this “Learning Forgiveness” post.