Trying “Online Dating” After an Abusive Relationship

All I can say is, it can wait!

Signing up for an online dating site months after ending my toxic abusive  relationship fake-ationship was a horrible idea.

“fake-ationship” [v. being in a relationship that is unhealthy/abusive therefore not what a REAL relationship is supposed to be like]

Here are some reasons why.

  1. A lot of people weren’t looking for relationships… if you know what I mean… Bow chicka wow wow.

Every time I come across a seemingly nice guy or receive a message from someone, one way or the other they would insinuate sex, bring up sex, ask for sex, want sex, need sex, sex sex sex


So that became the whole basis of the online dating, sex. It started to become more of an online hookup versus online dating.

  1. A lot of people weren’t mature enough of for a relationship.

Every person I came across, swiping left on almost all of them, were guys who were immature. “SexyBigDxck1” “Bea$t@69” or “H0RNY48008I3Z” to name a few.

When it comes to [REAL]-ationships you have to be mentally mature and ready for them, which 99.99% of the people on there weren’t, including myself!

Pink and Blue Abstract Moms Influencer Freestyle Art Instagram Post Set-7

This leads me to the third and final reason.

  1. I wasn’t ready!

When you leave a relationship that is toxic, you walk away from it feeling somewhat empty, hurt, exhausted, defeated. My thoughts were to fill that void by trying to force friendships or by finding a new person to date. This definitely wasn’t the answer.

When you’re fresh out of any relationship, whether it be a happy one or unhealthy one, you need time. Timing is everything.

As hard as it was for me to admit it, I needed time to heal, “time2mend”, time to grow, time to get to know myself before jumping into the next chapter of intimacy and partnership with someone.

So if you’ve just gotten out of a relationship and want to sign up for online dating remember to ask yourself if you are ready. Just think, “Is ‘H0RNY48008I3Z’ someone I really want to spend the rest of my life with?”

Anything great in life takes time.

Nothing that’s good comes easy, and things that come easy aren’t always good.


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